Enough is Enough
by arienai
Summary: AU - Bakura and Ryou have an awkward relationship and despite their tries, it seems that things are not getting any better. Bakushipping. HIATUS/REWRITING
1. I Keep My Eye On You

This fic is based on an album called _Enough is Enough_ by a Finnish band called _Traffic Island._

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Bakura always looked at Ryou like he was seeing him for the first time, taking in each and every detail on that beautiful face, the way those green eyes seemed to change their hue to go along with whatever emotion the boy was going through. How his lips seemed to always twitch a little before managing to form an actual smile, how his left eyebrow was slightly more defined in shape than his right...

Currently, Bakura was staring at Ryou from a distance, watching him talk and laugh with his friends, but knowing that there was at least a small amount of sadness and hurt appearing in the young man's eyes, knowing that some of that happiness he so eagerly displayed was fake. And it was Bakura's fault.

He had broken the precious heart of his friend.

Something that was unthinkable to begin with. Why in the world would he do that? If there was one person in the world, on whose behalf Bakura was more than ready to die, to do everything, it was Ryou.

So what had caused the current situation? Bakura's own stupidity, that's what.

He had had sex with a random girl. That's right, despite the fact that the only person he felt deserving of his heart was Ryou, he had decided to offer it to someone else. (Well, not his heart exactly, just his body, but Ryou didn't know that, nor did anyone else in their little circle of friends.) And that had caused Ryou to fall into the slump of negative emotions he was currently floating in. He had given up on Bakura, thinking that he wasn't worthy of Bakura's love, that there was someone else the object of his affections cherished more.

Which was complete bullshit, but Ryou couldn't know that could he? Because Bakura had never said a damn thing.

Bakura cursed under his breath, hands clenching into fists. He hated the current situation. He simply _loathed_ the fact that Ryou, his Ryou (which was something that he only thought in his head, never would he say it aloud), was alone (well, excluding his friends of course), and he, Bakura, had _fucked _somebody he didn't even like, and now everyone thought he was in love with the bitch!

Fuck. he didn't even want to think about the night when he ended up in that woman's bed. Not that he remembered much to begin with.

He loved Ryou. Not some random... whore he met in a bar. But alas, what could he do? He couldn't just go over to Ryou and ask him out, now could he? Ryou would just feel like a second choice, a backup, or something.

Bakura sighed, he had completely blown it.

And even if Ryou would by some twist of fate agree (which was next to impossible, seeing that Ryou would never want to destroy Bakura's _so-called relationship_), Ryou's friends would surely consider Bakura's suggestion as foul play, and convince Ryou not to believe him.

And even if Ryou agreed despite the opinions of his friends, he would surely be worried about the way they thought about him. Ryou was insecure like that, he had been alone for so long that every time he got a new friend, he would change himself to become more like the new person.

Ryou just wanted to belong.

And Bakura couldn't bring himself to take that way from Ryou by forcing him to act against his friends. Bakura wasn't the nicest person on earth, but even he had his limits. When it came to Ryou, anyway.

Bakura heaved a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose and leaning back on the park bench he was sitting on before looking back at Ryou. Ryou with his soft looking, beautiful white hair that had a silver tint to it, his soft pale skin, his bright green eyes in which Bakura could stare for hours at end...

Fuck, everything about Ryou was daydream material. For Bakura anyway, and with a scoff he had to admit that it probably applied to other people as well.

Daydream material... Well that one was a fact Bakura could not deny. He had indulged in the guilty pleasure of imagining himself and Ryou in the most imaginative situations, most of them, unsurprisingly, revolving around sex. He couldn't help himself! Ryou was just so... perfect.

Exactly, perfect. That was one word that Bakura could use when describing his Ryou. It summed the young man up perfectly. In Bakura's opinion, Ryou was the origin of all that is good in the world, as over the top as it sounds.

Bakura watched as Ryou used his delicate hand to push his white bangs away from his eyes and grinned. Scratch the 'daydream material', 'wet dream material' was more like it. Closer to the truth even, as much as he was ashamed to admit it to himself. He was borderline obsessed with Ryou, thinking about the other every moment of the day and night...

Except that one night a few days ago it seemed. The happy look on his face was quick to disappear. Fuck, what had he been thinking? He couldn't fathom his thought patterns that evening, it was simply impossible. He supposed that he had just had too much to drink, or enough to blur his judgment at least.

Maybe he had tried to get his thoughts away from Ryou for a while? To stop thinking about his own cowardice, how he couldn't come out and tell Ryou...

That he loved him. Because he did.

Well, then his plan had worked flawlessly hadn't it! He had promptly forgot all about Ryou, and gone ahead and fooled around with someone he apparently picked up at the bar he was destroying his brains at.

Well done Bakura, he had to give himself a pat on the back for that one, work well done.

Fuck, he felt like crying now.

Bakura swiftly stood up and stormed out of the park without further ado, already deciding to go drinking as soon as the sun set, to forget his latest major fuck up and destroy some more of his apparently useless braincells.

In his hurry to leave, Bakura missed the slightly dulled green eyes staring at his back with longing before their owner's attention was again demanded by the people around him.


	2. Two Days In A Row (Overtime)

In hindsight, Bakura really should have known better than to go drinking with Ryou. The guy can't handle his alcohol _at all_.

But he was just so happy to spend some time together with Ryou. But the biggest reason why he went and got smashed with Ryou was that he hoped it would be his chance to mend things. Maybe even explain the situation with the girl to Ryou, if he drank enough to have the confidence to do that. Even though he was sure Ryou would never be his, even after he cleared things up. There is a limit to how much a person can ruin the life of another.

Ryou's friends hadn't been too excited about the idea of letting Ryou and Bakura wander off together, but in the end they relented, most probably because of the adorable pleading look in Ryou's green eyes.

And so, about a week after the day when Bakura spent his time at the park staring at Ryou, and then starting his new hobby of drinking himself into stupor every night, he and Ryou were spending some time at a bar. And it happened to be the same bar where Bakura spent most of his waking hours nowadays, but Ryou wouldn't know that and there was no way in hell Bakura would tell him.

_Hey, Ryou, I kind get drunk off my ass every fucking night, and I drink more alcohol than water but you don't mind do you?_

Yeah, that would really score him some points. And he was already in the negatives. Not that Bakura really thought that Ryou had some sort of point system.

Anyway. They had gone off drinking, and Bakura's plan of making things at least all right between him and Ryou flew promptly out of the window before even an hour had passed. The reason was, as mentioned earlier, the fact that Ryou couldn't handle his drink for shit.

Okay fine, so the problem really wasn't the alcohol itself, more like the way Ryou consumes it.

He doesn't know his limits. Or, alternatively, he simply ignores them. Every time Ryou drinks, he ends up completely wasted. Not that Bakura was without fault in the situation. He could have slowed Ryou down, but to do that he himself would have had to be at least somewhat in his senses. And alas, he wasn't.

And so, by the time the two stumbled out of the bar, hanging onto each other for balance, they were both completely out of it.

Bakura had been pleasantly surprised when Ryou had suddenly pulled him into a random alley and pushed him against the wall, proceeding kiss the remaining sense out of him with drunken ferociousness. He had been more than happy to respond in kind.

And when Ryou gasped in his mouth as Bakura's wandering hands found themselves under Ryou's clothes, Bakura had been even more pleasantly surprised as Ryou suggested they'd continue at Bakura's place, which happened to be conveniently close.

Getting there had been a feat in itself, what with their way of walking which consisted mostly of haphazardly placed steps made to avoid contact with the ground because of constant stumbling. Bakura hugged the asphalt at least once because of Ryou's random laugh attacks during which he apparently lost all control of his limbs and proceeded to fall against an unsuspecting Bakura. Not that Bakura was complaining.

Trying to find the correct key would have been relatively easy if not for Ryou's sneaky hands that kept wandering inside Bakura's pants under the pretense of keeping Bakura upright by holding onto his waist. After crossing the threshold, Bakura too could concentrate all of his attention to his partner and everything else pretty much became an inconsistent blur.

After tripping over several invisible objects and after Ryou's back had made contact with the walls several times, they ended up on the bed with more than half of their clothes gone.

Needless to say, it ended up being an extremely pleasant night. Whereas the morning was, both physically and mentally, of the more painful kind.

Bakura woke up to a very persistent hammering in his head, and he would've been more than ecstatic to find a naked Ryou in his bed, if it had been any other morning.

But that morning had them both suffering from horrible hangovers, and Ryou was crying because he was positive that the night had been just a one night stand to Bakura, who, for all that Ryou knew, had a girlfriend.

Trying to comfort another while feeling like complete shit yourself is no easy task, and for Bakura, who had never been any good at any sort of nice stuff, it was even more difficult. He felt horribly inadequate just holding Ryou, slightly rocking him back and forth in the midst of the crumpled sheets of his bed. He wanted to say something, maybe whispers some of those famous 'sweet nothings' into Ryou's ear but nothing came into mind. And all he could feel was a mounting sense of dread, welling up from deep inside.

Even thought he was holding the one he loved, and this was the moment when everything would change, for better or worse.

This was his chance to tell Ryou how he really felt, that the woman he had been with was nothing more than a fling and nothing would make him happier than to see Ryou's smiling face every morning when he woke up.

It was when Ryou sighed, his tears dried up, that Bakura realized that he couldn't do it. Panic hit him like a punch in the gut, leaving him breathless and barely managing to stifle the chocking gasp trying to escape his throat.

_He couldn't do it._

Even after everything that had happened, and now that he finally had Ryou in his arms, he couldn't say it.

Bakura couldn't believe himself. He loved Ryou! And still, he hadn't been able to say it before, and it was obvious that he wouldn't be able to say it this time either. He felt horrible. Like a coward, a total piece of shit. What was Ryou going to think!

_Oh shit._

Ryou!

Ryou loved him! And he had just had a total breakdown after a night of drunken sex, and Bakura had comforted him.

_Ryou loved him._

Bakura involuntarily tightened his grip around the other. Ryou loved him. They had had sex the night before. And now, in the morning, Bakura had made it apparent that it hadn't been just a one night stand.

It was obvious what Ryou was going to do next.

And what would Ryou think when Bakura couldn't say the same thing back?

Shit was going to hit the fan, to put it mildly. Bakura had never been more afraid in his life.

He knew it was coming, but couldn't do anything about it. It was inevitable, and he had no idea what to do.

Bakura was snapped out of his musings when Ryou nuzzled his throat.

This was it. Bakura felt like throwing up, and it was wrong, so wrong, how could he feel like this when the one he loved was going to say the words he wanted to hear the most.

"Bakura, I-"

"Ryou." Bakura suddenly interrupted, trying to do something to save himself.

"Ryou, I-" He swallowed, what was he going to say? To his dread, Ryou lifted his head up from Bakura's shoulder and _looked at him. _In the eye no less. Bakura couldn't think of a time when he had felt more horrible in his lifetime.

He stared at Ryou. God, he was so beautiful. His hair was a mess and his eyes were red-rimmed and there were purple marks all over his slender neck but he still managed to look so perfect. Bakura swallowed again. He removed his hands from around Ryou's waist, lifting them up to hold his head, smiling slightly as Ryou's hands came up to cover his. And then-

And then he leaned in and kissed Ryou. All nice and gentle. Comforting. He pulled back, and Ryou smiled a little. Unsure and hesitant. Bakura almost felt like he could do it. He opened his mouth to speak and-

"I want you to move in with me."

_...What?_

He was afraid to see the disappointed look on Ryou's face so he closed his eyes, opening them again when Ryou's hand brushed his cheek. Ryou was smiling, and Bakura was sure that there had to be some sadness in that smile, disappointment in Ryou's eyes, but he couldn't see any.

Was Ryou that good an actor? Had Bakura been away from Ryou for so long that he could no longer tell what smiles were fake and what genuine?

Ryou kissed him.

And he stopped thinking.

Bakura wasn't completely sure what he had just gotten himself into, but Ryou was happy, and Ryou loved him, so he supposed it would be alright in the end.

He loved Ryou too. What could go wrong?

So he couldn't say it right now, and asking Ryou to move in with him had probably been his possessive side talking, hoping to keep Ryou with himself even when he couldn't give Ryou what Ryou had given him. The one thing Ryou most wanted have. Bakura's love.

Bakura was pretty sure that Ryou would understand. Ryou was like that after all. He could wait for Bakura to be ready to say it right?

Right. Ryou would know how it was. Everything was okay. In fact, everything was perfect!

...So what was this awfully familiar feeling creeping around in his guts?

Oh, yeah.

_I just fucked up._


	3. Studio Apartment

Desperately trying to finish this story now that I have the time to write again.

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Things hadn't been going too well since Ryou moved into Bakura's studio apartment. The problem was that neither of them had thought this through. They weren't ready for this kind of commitment. Their relationship hadn't progressed enough; they didn't know how to be around each other 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They didn't know each other intimately enough.

They were polar opposites, and it obviously annoyed Ryou, who was a neat freak. Bakura was messy and liked to spread his stuff around the house. He never picked up after himself, or took part in any housework.

The flat was tiny, but they hardly had any physical contact. Ryou didn't seem to care; it was like he couldn't stand Bakura. He took to drinking. Bakura had never stopped. They kept drinking, until they could only afford the non-alcoholics.

Ryou's friends worried, they had known that moving together would be a bad idea. Ryou had been too ecstatic to care about their opinions. After pining after Bakura for so long, what could go wrong now that they finally were together?

Things started going downhill fast when Bakura received a letter with money in it. Ryou demanded to know where the money came from, since Bakura certainly hadn't been working.

The situation escalated. Soon Ryou found himself screaming at Bakura on a daily basis.

"Would you please pay your half of the rent before we'll be living in Yugi's backyard in a tent!"

They were counting days to their eviction, trying to come up with ways the landlord would let them stay. But there was nothing they could do. They were losing the house they lived in. They had wanted to call this a new beginning, but they both realized they had rushed into this.

It was a few days before the eviction, both were packing up their things. Ryou was moving to Yugi's for the time being, Bakura was planning to crash at Marik's place. Ryou was just putting the last of his things in a box when he finally decided to address Bakura's staring and look up.

"What is it?" Bakura was sitting on their, well, his sofa, not actually doing anything. He still hadn't packed up his things. Ryou had given up on trying to make him do it. At Ryou's question, Bakura swallowed, and looked to the now curtainless window, avoiding Ryou's gaze.

"Ryou I-" He swallowed dryly.

"Yeah?" Ryou had gone back to packing.

"I want you." Bakura blurted out, realizing his mistake when he saw Ryou stiffen. Neither of them moved. Ryou was still staring down at the box, his hair covered his eyes.

"You don't mean that." Ryou's voice was quiet and emotionless; it made Bakura scramble up in alarm.

"What! No! Of course I do!" He crossed the small distance between them, kneeling next to Ryou who wouldn't meet his eyes. Bakura wanted to grab Ryou's shoulder, but found that he couldn't do it.

"Okay so maybe you do want me. But you don't love me."

"What are you talking about? I never said that I didn't!" Bakura grabbed Ryou's shoulders, finally finding the strength. He gave the other a little shake, trying to force eye contact.

"You never said that you did!" Ryou's tone was accusing, and so were his eyes, now looking hard and unforgivingly at Bakura, who had lost the ability to speak. He realized that this was the moment when his past mistake came to bite him in the ass. The silence lasted until Ryou sighed, slumping slightly and looking away.

"Bakura..."

"Please, Ryou, I..." Ryou bristled, pulling away from Bakura and standing up.

"Enough!" He glared at Bakura. "I don't-" Bakura briefly saw tears welling up in Ryou's eyes, just before the other clenched his teeth and looked away. "I don't even care anymore. We're through, Bakura."

Ryou grabbed the box he had been packing, the last of his stuff in Bakura's apartment and started walking towards the door. Bakura scrambled to his feet and rushed after him, grabbing his arm.

"Ryou you can't do this! I thought you loved me!"

Ryou didn't turn around. "I do, Bakura! I do!" He sounded teary.

"I love you Bakura." Ryou whispered, not moving his gaze from the door. "But I can't take the hurt anymore."

Bakura stared, mouth open, falling to his knees as the one he loved walked out of his house and quite possibly, life.


End file.
